Our comfort zones are fun, yes?
It can be funny at times, because of how and where it shows up.
A current comfort zone area that I’m attempting to expand, but I keep rationalizing WHY….
”I’m too busy”
”I have other priorities”
”I will learn later. I promise.”
Is salsa dancing. I’ve posted about it a couple of times, because learning to salsa IS important to me, but it doesn’t come “easy”.
It’s quite uncomfortable, to tell you the truth. Even starting in a beginners class, where there is support helping you learn the steps.
Seeing myself mess up move after move, while other people are seeming to pick it up, it can be damn difficult to stay out of your head…
To continue on
To keep coming back for more lessons
To trust that over time I will get better.
And yes, I was traveling for a couple of months, which kept me from being consistent at the studio I was going to. Unfortunately, the reminders of discomfort, of “failing”, of everyone being better than me, has kept me rationalizing why I haven’t went back.
And all of those rationalizations are BS. The truth is, I’m afraid to look like an idiot while learning this dance.
As I write this, I can picture myself misstep with my partners, and them clearly seeing that mistake, too. Hearing the sound of the music, but watching my feet doing everything but moving with it.
Then come the thoughts of..
I’ll learn this later
Maybe I’m not cut out to dance salsa
I’m terrible at this
And so on….
The funny thing is, we as people do this in all areas of life. Whether it’s..
Learning a new dance
Asking out our cute neighbor on a date
Asking our boss for a raise
Quitting our job
The list goes on.
And, It’s “easy” to sit here and criticize people for NOT doing them. I certainly criticize myself a bit for not sticking with salsa.
It would be and is easy to criticize that. However, it’s not effective. Criticizing people for what they….
Ought to do
Need to do.
While often well intended, can cause one of two scenarios…
1.Someone criticizes themselves even more for what they “should do” — and then, are even less likely to do, because they feel even sh**ier
2. Someone makes a reactionary leap without properly thinking through the next move, and if they fail in a way that creates a long-term penalty/challenge, they will likely not chance it again, because of what happened last time
In short, it’s ALL or NOTHING, which is a destructive way to look at making progress in business, relationships, finances, or in life in general.
And underneath both approaches, to hide away, or to be reactive, there is fear. Some people just have a pattern of doing one more than the other.
For me, historically, I’ve been the type that was reactionary, and it has gotten me in some tight spots throughout my life.
However, in the case of dancing, you can see that I’m hiding away from the fear of learning that new skill, or as the great saying goes, “failing forward”.
The main point, and reason I used my fear around salsa was because, dancing is a skill that you physically see improve over time. There is a decision to commit. Then there is practice, adaption, and improvement.
My leap in this case, would be to commit to the lessons, as my fear would lessen over time. But even that is gradual and not immediate. Nor is it easy. It’s simple, but not easy.
In parting, if you are considering a leap in your life, big or small, if there is fear around it, it can seem like a whale of a challenge. Take a moment to identify if you are either…
Hiding away from what you know you truly want
Reactively acting without intention making decisions and moves
Recognize and working with steps that lead to incremental improvements, and ultimately, what you want
Now that everyone knows I have fear around dancing, maybe I “should” go take care of that.