Two days ago, over tea, I wrote a long post about common fears in our life. Ranging from fear of bees, to other human beings.
But, it is my opinion that list, albeit quite eye opening to how much we spend time worrying and being fearful, it doesnโt get to the root of it.
Itโs a list of external people, places, things, or events that evoke a response. Not just a response in our heads, but also our hearts, and even bodies. Responses that show up in many ways, and too many for the purpose of this post.
To truly understand why we worry so much, or often feel so fearful, we must understand that thereโs something deeper that is creating the fear that we have. Not just the event itself.
Worry is often the story we are telling ourselves aboutโฆ.
What has happened
๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง
๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง
๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง
Often, with little evidence to back that claim. And yet, we are still married to the stories of catastrophic events that โwillโ occur.
Letโs use an example from my own life. My open ended trip overseas, that I started 35 days ago.
When I dug into my worries about it, questioning the uncertainty, the nervousness, tight chest, and all the rest, the following came upโฆ
๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฉ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ง๐จ ๐ฃ๐จ๐โฆ
๐๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐บ,
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต,
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐โ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ,
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐โ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ข๐ญ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐โ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ,
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด, ๐โ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ
That escalated quickly, EH?
Quite the projection about what could happen, before I have even taken off in the airplane. My mind, my worry, is already 10 steps ahead of me, trying to be a fortune teller.
Now, many reading this may say, โfor real, that COULD happen.โ
Yep. You are right. That definitely could. I could take off overseas, andโฆ
๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐โ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ๐ง๐๐
๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐โ๐ฏ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ซ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐
๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก
๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ญ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ
๐ ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ
๐๐ง๐โฆ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ ๐ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐
When I wrote these series of events down, when I FINALLY got clear on what was going on, that I couldnโt quite put my finger on, I laughedโฆ.
๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐๐ฅ, ๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ญโ๐ฌ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐.
WHY?
Because I know myself, my abilities, my relationships, my skills, and more than anything, my ability to make a decision to change the course.
AND for anyone that wants something a bit more logical and pragmatic, I did my research and sufficient planning prior to departure. ๐
The biggest takeaway, our worry, our fear, is tied to our survival. Many know that, but donโt take the time to dig into their thoughts, or that uncomfortable feeling we get before we do something new, or something big.
๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฒ. ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฌ๐ค ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌโฆ
1. ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง?
2. ๐๐ฌ๐ข๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ?
3. ๐๐ฌ๐ข๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ?
4. ๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ข๐ด๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ช๐ต, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ข๐ด๐ฌ
5. ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ชll occur?
