Two days ago, over tea, I wrote a long post about common fears in our life. Ranging from fear of bees, to other human beings.
But, it is my opinion that list, albeit quite eye opening to how much we spend time worrying and being fearful, it doesn’t get to the root of it.
It’s a list of external people, places, things, or events that evoke a response. Not just a response in our heads, but also our hearts, and even bodies. Responses that show up in many ways, and too many for the purpose of this post.
To truly understand why we worry so much, or often feel so fearful, we must understand that there’s something deeper that is creating the fear that we have. Not just the event itself.
Worry is often the story we are telling ourselves about….
What has happened
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧
Often, with little evidence to back that claim. And yet, we are still married to the stories of catastrophic events that “will” occur.
Let’s use an example from my own life. My open ended trip overseas, that I started 35 days ago.
When I dug into my worries about it, questioning the uncertainty, the nervousness, tight chest, and all the rest, the following came up…
𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐛…
𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺,
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵,
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦,
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐’𝘮 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐’𝘮 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦,
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯
That escalated quickly, EH?
Quite the projection about what could happen, before I have even taken off in the airplane. My mind, my worry, is already 10 steps ahead of me, trying to be a fortune teller.
Now, many reading this may say, “for real, that COULD happen.”
Yep. You are right. That definitely could. I could take off overseas, and…
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝
𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡
𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐲
𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭
𝐀𝐧𝐝…𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞
When I wrote these series of events down, when I FINALLY got clear on what was going on, that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, I laughed….
𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜.
Because I know myself, my abilities, my relationships, my skills, and more than anything, my ability to make a decision to change the course.
AND for anyone that wants something a bit more logical and pragmatic, I did my research and sufficient planning prior to departure. 🙂
The biggest takeaway, our worry, our fear, is tied to our survival. Many know that, but don’t take the time to dig into their thoughts, or that uncomfortable feeling we get before we do something new, or something big.
𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐲. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬…
1. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧?
2. 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯?
3. 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯?
4. 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬
5. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪ll occur?