Do What is Expected!

Sitting at Spanish Cafe

Three days prior to departing from the US, I sat drinking my tea (once again), and reflecting upon what I was about to embark on.

A trip that I had been actively working towards for four months.

I feelโ€ฆ. a sense of calm.

A sense that, no matter what, this will be an experience, an adventure, a opportunity to learn, that I will never forget.

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐˜

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜„๐˜๐—ต ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ

๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฑ, ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ผ.

What comes over me is not fear, nor is it excitement.

Itโ€™s certainty.

๐—–๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ.

๐—–๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—œ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฒ

๐—–๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—œ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€, ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐˜, ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ท๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ

๐—–๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜€, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ฒ

I view my trip as an opportunity. An opportunity to experience what I shared above.

While I have heard statements like โ€œ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘™๐‘ข๐‘๐‘˜๐‘ฆโ€, this trip didnโ€™t come about out of sheer luck. I didnโ€™t stumble into this. An opportunity to travel did not fall in my lap.

I made the decision back in September, a decision about what was right for my life, and this trip was it. And since then, I have been actively preparing and structuring my life around it.

Have you ever ๐—ท๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ธ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป what the right choice or step was for you?

Also knowing that if you went any other route, what you really want would distract you, and continue to come up asโ€ฆ

โ€œ๐’”๐’๐’Ž๐’†๐’•๐’‰๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐‘ฐ ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’…๐’ ๐’๐’๐’† ๐’…๐’‚๐’šโ€โ€ฆ

This happened to me when I was in my early 20โ€™s and allowed myself to miss an opportunity to study in New Zealand for six months. A story I will share in another post.

Because that curiosity of the world that I felt then, has only continued to grow, it made this decision to go a little easier, but not by much.

Overwhelmed with my own beliefs of what I ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ be doing at โ€œmy ageโ€, continued to cloud my decision making.

I knew from the start of this process that traveling around and seeing the world was the right move for my life, and yetโ€ฆ..

I still felt the pull of some spoken and unspoken expectations.

๐—œ ๐—ฆ๐—›๐—ข๐—จ๐—Ÿ๐—— ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐˜€

๐—œ ๐—ฆ๐—›๐—ข๐—จ๐—Ÿ๐—— ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐˜๐˜€ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ

๐—œ ๐—ฆ๐—›๐—ข๐—จ๐—Ÿ๐—— ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐˜ƒ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ / ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€

๐—œ ๐—ฆ๐—›๐—ข๐—จ๐—Ÿ๐—— ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐—œ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜

And notably, thereโ€™s nothing wrong with doing any of these.

However, it was my belief that because that is right for so many, that it had to be right for me. The funny thing, no one was in front of me telling these messagesโ€ฆ

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ โ€œโ€๐‘บ๐‘ฏ๐‘ถ๐‘ผ๐‘ณ๐‘ซ๐’”โ€โ€ฆ

Well, only a couple of people wereโ€ฆ

Even though making the decision to travel was relatively easy, over the past few months, I still faced these underlying expectations.

Each time they would come up, and I would start thinking about my purpose of traveling vs what I thought I was suppose to do, I would look at my intent behind both.

And honestly, doing that over and over made the process of leaving much easier. Primarily because I knew that Iโ€™m traveling to learn, grow, and experience the world, because thatโ€™s what is important for me, at this point in my life.

If I were to do what I โ€œ๐’”๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’๐’… ๐’…๐’โ€, I would not be doing it because I actually want that at this point, it would be because of the underlying beliefs..

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—บ

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ

โ€ฆ๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต.

Will I someday want to marry, have kids, and build roots somewhere?

Quite possibly.

But thatโ€™s not where I am today, even though I have tried to convince myself of that many times.

At the end of the day, I made a choice to go on this trip, and to ignore what is โ€œ๐’†๐’™๐’‘๐’†๐’„๐’•๐’†๐’…โ€ of me, at โ€œthis ageโ€.

โ€ฆAnd I continue to make a choice each day towards what is important to me vs what I think โ€œ๐’”๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’๐’… ๐’ƒ๐’†โ€ important to me.

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