Three days prior to departing from the US, I sat drinking my tea (once again), and reflecting upon what I was about to embark on.
A trip that I had been actively working towards for four months.
I feel…. a sense of calm.
A sense that, no matter what, this will be an experience, an adventure, a opportunity to learn, that I will never forget.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱, 𝘁𝗼𝗼.
What comes over me is not fear, nor is it excitement.
𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲.
𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗲
𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗱𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼
𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲
I view my trip as an opportunity. An opportunity to experience what I shared above.
While I have heard statements like “𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑦”, this trip didn’t come about out of sheer luck. I didn’t stumble into this. An opportunity to travel did not fall in my lap.
I made the decision back in September, a decision about what was right for my life, and this trip was it. And since then, I have been actively preparing and structuring my life around it.
Have you ever 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 what the right choice or step was for you?
Also knowing that if you went any other route, what you really want would distract you, and continue to come up as…
“𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚”…
This happened to me when I was in my early 20’s and allowed myself to miss an opportunity to study in New Zealand for six months. A story I will share in another post.
Because that curiosity of the world that I felt then, has only continued to grow, it made this decision to go a little easier, but not by much.
Overwhelmed with my own beliefs of what I 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 be doing at “my age”, continued to cloud my decision making.
I knew from the start of this process that traveling around and seeing the world was the right move for my life, and yet…..
I still felt the pull of some spoken and unspoken expectations.
𝗜 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗯𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀
𝗜 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲
𝗜 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 / 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀
𝗜 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁
And notably, there’s nothing wrong with doing any of these.
However, it was my belief that because that is right for so many, that it had to be right for me. The funny thing, no one was in front of me telling these messages…
Well, only a couple of people were…
Even though making the decision to travel was relatively easy, over the past few months, I still faced these underlying expectations.
Each time they would come up, and I would start thinking about my purpose of traveling vs what I thought I was suppose to do, I would look at my intent behind both.
And honestly, doing that over and over made the process of leaving much easier. Primarily because I knew that I’m traveling to learn, grow, and experience the world, because that’s what is important for me, at this point in my life.
If I were to do what I “𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒐”, I would not be doing it because I actually want that at this point, it would be because of the underlying beliefs..
𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺
𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱
…𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵.
Will I someday want to marry, have kids, and build roots somewhere?
But that’s not where I am today, even though I have tried to convince myself of that many times.
At the end of the day, I made a choice to go on this trip, and to ignore what is “𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅” of me, at “this age”.
…And I continue to make a choice each day towards what is important to me vs what I think “𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆” important to me.