Back in January, I was invited to a Super Bowl party, by a long time friend of mine.

I accepted the invite, as it was the last chance to see him before leaving Austin.

And growing up, I played baseball for many years, ran track and enjoyed playing football in a small field, in my home town.

However, somewhere along the way, I lost interest.

Mostly, I lost interest in watching sports.

Seeing as how so many people I know are huge sports fans, I know my lack of interest isn’t necessarily popular.

But I digress.

For many years, even after I knew that the interest in the games I enjoyed playing in my youth were gone, I still kept up a façade.

𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀

𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀

𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀

𝗜 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲

Truth is, I don’t.

And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with getting hyped up about sports, or being a fan, I’m just not one.

But I continued to pretend any way.

It all too often seemed…

𝗜’𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲

𝗜’𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿

𝗜’𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘀, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁

And if not, what else are we going to do or talk about?

And if not, what the hell is wrong with me?

For years, I kept up the façade of interest in an effort to fit in.

𝗧𝗼 𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁

𝗧𝗼 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁

𝗧𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴.

However, along the way, the façade just kind of disappeared. I stopped pretending to keep up with the latest games, trades, MVPs and so on.

When this shift occurred, I noticed a few things…

𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁

𝗜 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼

𝗜𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁, 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻’𝘁.

Notably, I’m speaking of “sports” as a personal example in my life where I tried hard to fit in, to belong for many years, but this post, in essence is not about sports.

It’s about recognizing that we often will build a persona (AKA a MASK) around a popular topic, activity, or belief, if it..

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗱

Because the opposite of those feelings are those that fear being rejected, casted out, or alone. That’s our brain hard at work trying to keep us connected to the group.

Regardless of my lack of interest in sports, I was appreciative to see a friend again before leaving, especially knowing that he doesn’t give two sh**s about sports either.

These days, I often find myself asking, “do I really want to spend my time doing this?”

And if I don’t, and it’s not a must, I won’t.