𝐓𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝…
I feel my chest tighten as I finish preparing to hit post on what I wrote about tonight.
What I wrote after sitting at the dinner table, reflecting on all that I have been doing, and yet, what I still want for my life.
“Truth be told, I find myself wondering why am I doing all of this?
Does it really matter if I dedicate my life to something bigger than myself?
To dedicate my life to helping the lives of others?
To spend my life learning and devoting it to helping other people unfold their mission to create large scale impact on the planet?
Why am I doing this?
Because honestly, I’m not sure how to live my life any other way?
I know I don’t want to spend my life in an office doing a job that doesn’t involve helping a great cause.
I know I don’t want to have a boss who controls my life and income
I know that I don’t want to see people suffer
I know that I want love, too
I do love myself, I do
But I want someone that checks on me.
I want someone who loves to touch and hold me
I want someone I can share laughter and life with
I want someone I can change the world with
I want someone that I can wake up to and kiss on the neck in the morning
I want to feel love from another being that I love and respect.
And I’ve realized…
Life isn’t about the money.
Life isn’t about the fame.
Life isn’t about the travels.
Life isn’t about some end goal.
Life is about a culmination of love given and love received and the connection we experience
And that in and of itself can be done through the acquisition of what was mentioned above.
But I know that while those things are nice, what I want is to give and receive love and kindness.
As I travel, I am presented with many opportunities to meet people.
Many opportunities to help people with something going on in their lives.
Many opportunities to learn from the people I meet.
And yet, while I find my travels and work fulfilling, there is a part of me that just wants to feel loved by a special woman that I would go to the ends of the earth to support her dreams and goals.
To have that partnership.
To have that safe space.
To have a place to call ours.
And as I think about my questions from the beginning of this, the answer is “yes”.
It does matter, to me, and to those I help. And I will and am committing my life to doing this…
Along the way, I look forward to the day I meet a special woman that I can share those similar aspirations with.
I know that my well being exists within me.
But that doesn’t change the fact that love and joy can come from what is created between two people.
In their experiences, endeavors, and time together.
I also know with time I will meet someone special that we can together challenge and support each other to step into our potential, help others, and live a life we deem meaningful.
As I finish writing this, I realize these thoughts I’m pouring on paper, are to me, myself, and I only..
And I wonder how many other people feel this way in their own lives?
How many people really want something but are afraid to ask for it?
How many people really desire something meaningful but are afraid to speak about it?
𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈’𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧.”