In the dark of night, I write. I write from a burning in my soul that is wanting to express its deepest and most powerful creative energy.
This morning, in the calming quiet of the world, I notice how much more easily I am able to move towards my dreams, from a place of wholeness in the now.
I am whole and complete now, also knowing I have enough now, I feel at peace. I feel in love with life and like all is well. There is not some future date where things will improve.
Yes, there are future events I will most certainly love and enjoy. However, what is different is this, being whole and complete now, I’m okay to wait for those events because I’m enjoying every moment of now…
In the loving enjoyment of the moment of now, all is well.
There is no rush.
There is no urgency.
There is peace.
There is calmness.
There is flow.
There is trust.
And, there is creation.
In the knowing of the man I am, I am at peace. I am at peace for who I am being in the world and at peace with my humanness. Life is but a dance that I choose to be here to ebb and flow with in constant creation from within the moment to which I reside.
It has only been a stumbling upon as of late that I have begun to truly experience life within the moment. For long have I spent hours on end lost in thoughts of pasts that no longer exist, and yet, I continue to create my morrows from their residue.
Or, finding that a longing for anywhere in the future will somehow be better than the moment I’m within, never truly feeling settled in myself. Often leaning into life with a sense of urgency, a tightness and tension in my body, I find myself never truly arriving at a moment where I can honestly say, I am enough. I have enough.
It is those statements that I pose that are coming to fruition from a thinking, to feeling, to living level. That is my experience of it anyways.
Today, observing that I woke up three hours before intended. Tired, yes. Cranky, or a pessimistic view of the day ahead, no. It’s as if all is well. All feels whole and complete. What is this new experience of life that is emerging for me? Has this always been available, and yet, I was unable to access it due to my own coming to calm and relate to life differently, that needed to occur?
Maybe, for once, the answer is not needed. Maybe, for once, all that is needed is an appreciation for the experience, in lieu of attempting to cling. For it has been a pattern of mine in the pasts that are now no more, to push away that is not wanted, and attempt to strangle and cling to that which I do. Neither of the push or pull, allowing me to ground in the middle way of life.
After years of feeling constant turmoil, followed by years of consistent anxiety, followed by years of subtle anxiety, to wake up into this experience as of late, it’s as if I am stepping onto the moon.
I will end with the gratitude of knowing that life can feel truly whole and complete, without the need for more or change. This does not mean, however, that I stop the endeavors that I pursue.
No, what this means is that I have formed a relationship with them that enables me to pursue them from a place of relaxed strength, certainty, and ability that is remarkably more useful when in comparison to the rushed, anxious, need to get into my future that used to fill all of my waking hours.
