We are afraid to be ‘real’

In February, my mentor, and friend, asked me a question about my recent writingsโ€ฆ.

A question that Iโ€™ve answered many times before with ease.

โ€œ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘“๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ?โ€

As I began to articulate my reasons, I felt it.

I felt my eyes well up, that feeling that seems move its way up our body, as if water was moving towards our eyes, from our feet or something.

At first, I attempted to hold them back, and paused my story.

Then I would start telling my story again, and as you would guess, the sensation to let the tears slide down the side of my face grew.

And so I let them.

๐“๐ก๐ž๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐๐Ž๐“ ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿโ€ฆ

โ€œ๐‘ƒ๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ ๐‘š๐‘’, ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘”๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘’๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’โ€

โ€œ๐‘‚๐‘ข๐‘โ„Ž, ๐ผ ๐‘—๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘ก โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘˜๐‘›๐‘’๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘“๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” โ„Ž๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก๐‘  ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘˜๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘™โ€


๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜โ€ฆ

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฒ.

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ, ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜.

The best way to articulate this, imagine for a moment, the love forโ€ฆ

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ž๐ง

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž

And ask yourself, โ€œโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘–๐‘š๐‘๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ฆ?โ€

When you truly connect to that love for them, not just logically, but really feel it, you will understand the kind of tears that streamed down my face as I spoke.

So often, and I have done this for many years, we want to hide away from sharing with others, things that are.. truly unique to us, that drive our actions, our focus, our life.

๐€๐ง๐, ๐ข๐ง ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ซ๐ญ, ๐“๐‡๐€๐“ ๐’๐”๐‚๐Š๐’!

Because thatโ€™s how we miss out on developing rewarding relationships with..

๐Ž๐ฎ๐ซ ๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ž๐ง

๐Ž๐ฎ๐ซ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐๐ฌ

๐Ž๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฌ

๐€๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐ž๐ฌโ€ฆ.๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ง ๐›๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐œ๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ง๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ!

Some reading this may say, โ€œ๐‘œโ„Ž, ๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐ผ ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘—๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘”๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘๐‘™๐‘’๐‘š๐‘  ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘–๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘ ?โ€


I say that, because four years ago, that would have been me.

I would have scoffed at the idea of being truthful with those around me, and in my life, because I thought the world was out to get me, so ๐ˆ ๐ก๐š๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž๐š๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ, ๐›๐ž๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ข๐ญ ๐›๐ž๐š๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ž.

And you know what, those defenses were not strength, they were ๐…๐„๐€๐‘!

Fear that comes from the โ€œriskโ€ ofโ€ฆ

๐๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐•๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ง๐ž๐ซ๐š๐›๐ฅ๐ž / ๐Ž๐ฉ๐ž๐ง

๐๐ž๐ข๐ง๐  ๐‘๐ž๐ฃ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ž๐ / ๐„๐ฆ๐›๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ž๐


All fears about โ€œ๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘€๐ผ๐บ๐ป๐‘‡ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘–๐‘“ ๐ผโ€™๐‘š ๐‘š๐‘ฆ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘“โ€

๐ˆ๐… ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐›๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ข๐š๐ฅ

๐ˆ๐… ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐š ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐›๐ž ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ž๐

๐ˆ๐… ๐ˆ, ๐ฌ๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ (๐ฒ๐ž๐ฌ, ๐ž๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ) ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐จ๐ง๐ž

OR, dare I say, cry in front of someone.

Fear creates separation, disconnection, and isolation.

Life is too short to live in our self made walls. They are not protecting us from anything, 99% of the time. Other than protecting us from truly experiencing the best in our life.

The people in it.

Iโ€™m grateful that I now have friendships and partnerships, where Iโ€™m just cool with being me.

And even more importantly, accepted for being me. And if not, thatโ€™s cool. Others will :). I intend on living this wa

๐‘ƒ๐‘†: ๐ผ๐‘“ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ ๐‘–๐‘ก, ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐‘Ž ๐‘š๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘˜ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘“ ๐‘Ž ๐‘“๐‘’๐‘ค ๐‘ž๐‘ข๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ ..

1.๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘’๐‘™๐‘–๐‘’๐‘“๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘’๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘œ๐‘๐‘’๐‘›?

2.๐ป๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘‘๐‘œ ๐ผ ๐‘“๐‘’๐‘’๐‘™ ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘œ๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ ?

3.๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘“๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘œ๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ ?

4.๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘–๐‘โ„Ž ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘’๐‘™๐‘–๐‘’๐‘“๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐น๐ด๐ถ๐‘‡๐‘†?


โ€œ๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘ง๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’๐‘  ๐‘œ๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘’๐‘  ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘๐‘ก ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘“. ๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™๐‘’๐‘›๐‘”๐‘’, ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘›, ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ฃ๐‘–๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘š๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘™๐‘–๐‘ง๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘‘ ๐‘ ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘ง๐‘’๐‘ . ๐‘Œ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘›โ€™๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘–๐‘ก, ๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ฃ๐‘’ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘‘๐‘ข๐‘๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘ก.โ€

โ€” ๐‘†๐‘’๐‘กโ„Ž ๐บ๐‘œ๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›

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