As I sit here writing, I ask myself a question…
“𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠?”
Before I could actually answer that question, I took a moment and leaned back into the shoulder high chair.
I thought, for a moment, about how I historically approached writing posts for Facebook, LinkedIn, and even emails.
Thinking about my “𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑐ℎ” historically, I was not sure where to start.
Should I start with jotting down the thoughts that ran through my head, or focus on how others pay perceive my message, I asked myself.
That was an important question, because I can remember not even a year ago, when I would over analyze any text I was putting into a post. A full gamut of thoughts and questions running through my head prior to hitting “𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵” or “go live”…
“𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦?”
“𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡?”
“𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒?”
“𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦?”
“𝐴𝑚 𝐼 𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟?”
“𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟”
“𝑁𝑎ℎ, 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦”
“𝐼’𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡.”
“𝑂𝑘𝑎𝑦, 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠”
Long story short, I had a game of tug of war going on in my head.
Not fun, nor motivating to say the least. More often than not, I would over analyze, hesitate, and then post nothing.
Because by then, I worked myself into a tizzy, and actually forgot what I had intended to say.
Thus, I had lost my creative thought. Another battle lost to my overly analytical mind, and pattern of listening to it.
On the occasions where I would muster up the courage to make a post, or say something, it often came out or across in a few ways….
#𝟭 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘁.. 𝗦𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 “𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿/𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀” (𝗡𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀)
#𝟮 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁, 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗲
#𝟯 𝗔 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲
And so on…
In hindsight, I know why this was such a challenge for me…
Why I would…
𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁
𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁
𝗨𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆, 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗺𝘆 “𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵” 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴
𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.
My unspoken fears were, If I personalize my approach, and add my own stories, or experiences,
𝗜 𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗸 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘇𝗲𝗱
𝗢𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.
My ego couldn’t handle that. So I either said nothing, or stripped my posts of anything that represented who I am, how I think, and what I am about.
Looking back, even after the situation was over, after I had posted, or had not… I still felt one of two things
#𝟭 (𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱): 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲 — 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱
#𝟮 (𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁): 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲
Which leads to…
Why am I “fearless” now when I post?
I’m not. Not completely.
What changed was I realized how much frustration and angst came along with…
𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗯𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿
𝗔 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.
Knowing I had stories, and experiences I wanted to share with others, but I was too afraid of how people might or might not respond.
As I started making videos for my Facebook group, and gradually started posting more, I quickly realized that it felt worse not posting, than it did posting.
𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮. 𝗜 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻, 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 #𝟭 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗦, 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵. 𝗔𝗻𝗱, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝘁?
If I was to offer the one nugget that helped me, it was changing my relationship with fear.
Instead of trying to destroy it, or succumb to it, seek to understand those often unspoken messages.
Then make a conscious decision on what to do next.