I’ve written the headline, “𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝑴𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒓?” over and over again, followed by a pause, because part of me said to discuss the topic now, another part, wait until later.
When we think of “𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟”, it has many synonyms, like 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦, 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦, 𝑢𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒, 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑡. These are present in our every day lives.
Even If we don’t verbally speak about them, many of us experience them on a fairly regular basis, and they heavily influencing our moods and actions.
I’m no stranger to experiencing these feelings generated by my own thoughts.
𝗔𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗮𝗹
𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁
𝗗𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸
𝗢𝗿… 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗲
They are all forms of fear, with varying levels of intensity, time consumption, and impacts on my behavior.
Take for example, “𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬”.
The truth is…
𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗲𝘁, 𝗜 𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗼.
𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸
Does that mean I can’t? 𝑂𝑓 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡.
Does that mean I won’t attempt it? 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑐𝑘.
There is evidence that I lack experience writing and publishing books. And because of this, my mind could and has easily chalked it up as not being possible. Whether that is factual or not, can be debated.
At times, finding myself thinking….
“𝐼𝑡’𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦 𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼’𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑎𝑡”
“𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑”
“𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑡”
𝐃𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞?
You know, it’s true that I probably could not get published tomorrow, or even next week, based on my current experience. However, there is literally nothing that says I can’t focus on changing that.
There’s nothing that says I can’t….
𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘆
𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀
𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴
𝗛𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵
It’s whether I’m going to let my own doubt keep me from it.
𝗜𝗳 𝗜 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁, 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆.
𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑦
𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠
𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑠 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑡, 𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜
There are many reading this, maybe thinking, “𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘.”
And you are correct.
There’s no guarantee that concentrated effort on something I am passionate about will lead to a successful outcome.
That said, I can guarantee that if I do nothing, I most certainly won’t ever create that book.
I most certainly will think more about “𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓𝑠” 𝑣𝑠 “𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑝?”
For me, the worst part of not pursuing something I’m passionate about, I’ll look back and regret not even trying.
In short, if I don’t attempt, if I don’t practice my writing for the sheer enjoyment of it, doubt wins out.
Instead of accepting that doubt (fear) is completely normal, and a part of discovering or attempting something new, I stayed in what I knew, and didn’t expand further. Ultimately, leading to regret of not trying, rather than regret of trying and potentially failing.
For me, when I look back over my life, that would be something I greatly regret, and it is my intention to continue living a life where regrets of inaction are non-existent.
𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑗𝑜𝑏, 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝, 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦, 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍.
𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡, 𝑜𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍.
𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡, 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛, 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍.
Fear and all the ways we label it, are completely normal for human beings.
It’s not destroying fear that “saves us”, since there are healthy doses of it.
Succumbing to fear is not the answer either, as that is sure to lead to regret.
𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿.
𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡.
Since at the end of the day, 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁.